High Anxiety

I'm pretty sure this is going to be the first job I'm fired from. I guess it happens to everyone. I've been having a lot of anxiety about it lately, though, and I suppose I wouldn't care if a) I had more money; and b) the job didn't seem so simple. I miss my old job. When I wasn't working, I got to read or browse the Internet, and nothing was blocked, so I could peruse Nerve (before it went sour) or The Morning News. Also, I made a whole seventy-five cents more than I make now and I was fucking good at what I did (for the record: I interviewed prospective students of my college, wrote evaluations of said students' interviews, and gave informational sessions to parents). Now I just feel dumb, because I keep making mistakes that in retrospect are so obvious, plus, like I said, the job seems simple...like, all I have to do is memorize stuff. For some reason, though, I can't seem to get it down, and as a result, the whole thing's bringing me down, and I'm depressed and unhappy, and my self-esteem is really taking a nosedive. If things don't improve, and I'm not actually fired, I might just quit. I need to make it through three paychecks, and then I'll be financially okay. And I mean, I don't need a pat on the back, but it would be nice if I could actually feel like my performance was up to par. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the retail end of the food industry.

Honestly, I'd rather be working on my screenplay full-time, since it's been on hiatus since May. Oh, and did I mention my job is encouraging my weight problem? True story.