You Are Something Good and So Am I

Keep trying to tell myself this, but it's all lies through teeth.

I blame myself for everything. It's just easier that way.

50 Days Til Graduation

You know what would be great? If I found somewhere to live for the summer, got into grad school, and sorted out the majority of my work stuff all in the same week.

It'd be killer, really.

Had an excellent conversation with my film professor Malcolm today. We talked about The Class, and he taught me a thing or two about France's educational system. We also talked about idiots who go to the cinema and yap, and it was nice to see his face fall when I told him of my recent film-going woes. Nice, because then we commiserated on the subject, and I remembered why, when it comes down to it, I think he's pretty ace.

I Am Writing A Paper and Have ZERO Concentration...

...so I will post these sentences full of possible, but mostly fake words in other languages instead (courtesy of Naomi, who wrote them all on sticky notes during work today):

"Ich bis einschaftgegge lufweinmeisen mach das überspielen wachtmal." (German)

"Que parle'vous mont-deux il es faux bìentôut elle chincoux quatorze-vis pluie." (French)

"Quattorza via formaggio bella andiamo mio figlio cacciatora potente." (Italian; something about beautiful cheese)

"Wtadyslaw pieroglyszka modz jezykovy sczetomtady." (Polish)

"Drekka moönkappal pekkakor maläa olstit." (Finnish)

"Joop ter heul koekje paar vandarwalje." (Dutch; my personal favourite)

There are more, but not sure how to post in Hebrew, Arabic, Chinese, or Cyrillic.

Yeah, sometimes work is fun.

Aftershocks

I'm kind of upset right now, which is strange because I was fine earlier. Someone warned me this would happen, that it would all come out of the blue, and I would just have to wade through it until I felt better again. I'm wondering when things will start to be okay again, and not just superficially feel that way.

I Have Work In The Morning, But Blogging Is A Priority!

Tonight, I had dinner with some friends, and we talked about how to illegally live in a European country, but still manage to go home with no fear of being deported. We talked about the logistics for a long time, but unfortunately, the country I want to move to does not allow for such loopholes. We talked about this, too, and then I freaked out about the fact that I still don't know what's going on with grad school.

I've way too much on my plate right now, and I've only myself to blame.

Also: my friend Naomi and I are going to start a punk rock band. It's going to be called Dyzfunctional Utopia. We're going to dye our hair jet-black and wear spike bracelets and open for bands like Good Charlotte. We're also going to write Sarah Lawrence-specific songs. Sample lyrics (from the brain of Nomi):

'This paper clip is shit/ I'm pissed cos it just upped and quit!'

and

'We pay $52,000 a year/ And the Pub doesn't even sell beer!'

True story: the Pub, our grill and sandwich-making eatery, used to sell beer. That's why it's called the Pub. Genius, no?

The Stress Levels Are Jumping!

Within the next month-and-a-half I have to:

1. Find a place to live for the summer
2. Try to find a job for the summer (though if I can't, I can't, and I do the retail thing or keep my fingers crossed when I get back from Dublin/Paris)
3. Make a film
4. Write a feature-length screenplay
5. Write a paper on the films of Frederick Wiseman (minimum 12 pages)
6. Finish two film journals
7. Not die

Think I can do it?

How To Screw One's Self

Once tonight hits, I'll have successfully done 0% work this break. That is two weeks worth of zilch academic application.

I think we know who wins here.

When Childhood Heroes Fail

Roger Ebert gave Knowing four stars.

Guess it's time to stop believing.

Dieting

The time has come. The truth of the matter is I'm overweight, and no matter how often someone says, "Oh, you look fine," I don't feel fine, and I think that's what's most important. Depression is fueled by many factors, but my belly and thighs and hips and ass don't have to be any of them. Unfortunately, I can't really start said diet until the summer, since my current food shopping situation doesn't quite allow it, but after my post-graduation Dublin/Paris trip...just you wait. It's going to be epic.

In other news: Emma Roberts and I could have been BFFs in another life. Just saying.

Watery Night

It's raining cats and dogs outside. But walking through it--with no umbrella and only my hood up--felt very calming indeed.

Just saw The Class, and it was, as they say in French, tres bien. Wish people didn't act like such twats at the cinema, though.