Just A Head's Up...!

Now posting over at Badly Marked Street Signs.  But you should continue to read Midnight Breakfast, cos it's fun.

A New Writing Project Will Commence Shortly, But:

I'm pretty sure this blog is dead. For now, read Midnight Breakfast. It's much more worth your while anyway.

High Anxiety

I'm pretty sure this is going to be the first job I'm fired from. I guess it happens to everyone. I've been having a lot of anxiety about it lately, though, and I suppose I wouldn't care if a) I had more money; and b) the job didn't seem so simple. I miss my old job. When I wasn't working, I got to read or browse the Internet, and nothing was blocked, so I could peruse Nerve (before it went sour) or The Morning News. Also, I made a whole seventy-five cents more than I make now and I was fucking good at what I did (for the record: I interviewed prospective students of my college, wrote evaluations of said students' interviews, and gave informational sessions to parents). Now I just feel dumb, because I keep making mistakes that in retrospect are so obvious, plus, like I said, the job seems simple...like, all I have to do is memorize stuff. For some reason, though, I can't seem to get it down, and as a result, the whole thing's bringing me down, and I'm depressed and unhappy, and my self-esteem is really taking a nosedive. If things don't improve, and I'm not actually fired, I might just quit. I need to make it through three paychecks, and then I'll be financially okay. And I mean, I don't need a pat on the back, but it would be nice if I could actually feel like my performance was up to par. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the retail end of the food industry.

Honestly, I'd rather be working on my screenplay full-time, since it's been on hiatus since May. Oh, and did I mention my job is encouraging my weight problem? True story.

Oh god.

I am still awake and it is not good, because what will happen is this: tomorrow night (or later tonight, since it is technically tomorrow), the same thing will occur, except I'll be kicking myself because I'll need to wake up at 7:30 am the next day.

Did you follow all that?

Some True Facts

1. I have a job now. I work in a bakery and sell cakes I can't afford to celebrities. (Though this actually has yet to happen.)

2. Today, I realized that I knew who Kurosawa, Scorsese, and Fellini were when I was 7. And then I realized that I am a freak.

3. Tonight, in an attempt to familiarize myself more with my neighborhood's bar scene, I went to a place called The Soft Spot. It has a nice atmosphere, and Guinness on tap. Good Guinness, I might add.

4. I want to marry Michael Sheen. Too bad he's 40 and totally unattainable.

5. I miss Dublin. A lot. (Have I mentioned this recently?)

Post-Grad Week Three (Four? It's Still The Weekend)

Writing this from my apartment in Brooklyn, where I'll be shacked up for another two-and-a-half months before going home for a brief hello and then moving to Dublin. Exciting, no? I spent my first week here (this past week) trying to find a job, and spending way too much money. Last night I had to sit in and watch Law & Order in order not to empty out my pockets (incidentally enough, I went to the grocery store on the corner and bought food and essentials, so the plan actually failed). But it wasn't all bad, because my housemate Molly made dinner and offered me some, and it was the best meal I've had in a while. Simple pasta and shrimp dish, made with asparagus (which I ate! scandal!) and garlic, but holy mother it was so good. Nothing like fresh ingredients. Molly's husband, Gabe, is going to make lobster at some point, and after eating it, we're going to walk to McCarren Park and throw the remains at all the hipster vegans. It'll be like egging, but with seafood and people to replace the walls of buildings.

Things I Have Done Since Getting Back From Holiday:

1. job-hunted
2. saw Away We Go, which I thought was fantastic and nice to see Sam Mendes doing something different
3. learned how to make stellar burritos (must write down recipe)
4. ate a lot of pad Thai
5. did not start my diet
6. finished Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, which is Mary Roach's newest book and taught me a lot of stuff about my anatomy that I never would have guessed
7. took advantage of the fact that I now have cable TV
8. played with Tracy's cute rabbit, Tuco
9. slept in
10. discovered I'm allergic to sulfur
11. went to a late-night screening of The Shining, which was great to see on 35 mm, even if the print was a little scratchy
12. walked to and from Williamsburg--a lot
13. took advantage of the fact that the Virgin Megastore in Union Square just went out of business and all DVDs were at least 70% off
14. had a conversation with my housemates about how we hate hipster fashion and hipster culture in general; knew I was living with the right people when Molly used the phrase 'not aesthetically pleasing' without my prompting
15. started playing Scrabble again

Hopefully within the next week or so, I will be able to find a job. I'm in a bit of a crunch right now, and in complete understanding of why so many people are upset by the economy. Any sort of income would be good. One thing's for certain, though: I truly feel like an adult, because I've never been so depressed to be out of work. That, and sometimes I want to go to bed at 9 o'clock.

Post-Grad Week One

I am really hoping this summer gives me a chance to clear my head, cos everything is buzzing right now and I'm not sure how to make it stop.

Still Alive

Updating this from an apartment in Dublin.

Life's been pretty turbulent as of late, with too much that's gone on to properly talk about it all. A list, though, if you will:

1. Graduated from college. Rahm Emanuel spoke, and an MFA candidate made a speech involving an extended metaphor about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was all very surreal, and I don't know how to feel about being able to call myself an 'alum.'

2. Got into grad school. Moving to Ireland for an indefinite amount of time come September. Pretty psyched about this.

3. Found an apartment for the summer. The joke is that all SLC students move to Brooklyn because it's the 'thing to do,' but I'm moving there cos the rent's slightly cheaper and cos the apartment's nice and cozy and cos my housemates are laid back and lovely people. Also, I have my own bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub. Cool, no?

4. Something I don't feel is appropriate to blog about just happened, and it happened suddenly. Trying to process it, but it's difficult. Just going through the motions right now.

In Less Than 24 Hours, I Will Be A College Graduate

Oh god.

I Know This Much is True

Dear Diary,

I am no longer poor. Just crunched some numbers, and they made me smile. The parents taught me well (with regards to saving, at least).

Also, I am no longer a 'disappeared' person. I was for a while, but now I'm back.

Cheers,
Rebecca

Caution: Nothing To Worry About

Things are less of a fucking mess right now. Big post to come.

True Story

Everything is a fucking mess right now. Everything.

This Will Be Revised and Reposted On A Regular Basis

Here is a List of Bands/Artists I Can't Get Into, Even Though Music Blogs Tell Me I Should Love Them:

1. Department of Eagles
2. Phoenix
3. Chromeo
4. St. Vincent
5. Dirty Projectors
6. Grizzly Bear (this is a BIG one...everyone and their mother is supposed to be a fan)
7. Beach House (I think they're so boring! they made all the top-ten lists, and I don't understand why!)
8. Joanna Newsome (okay, this is old news, but I've never liked her...ever...and I think I'm the only one)
9. Forest Fire

Emm, think that's all for now. See title for what I plan to do with this thing.

One Little Post Before I Go To Bed

Man, every time I think about socialization at my college, it does my head in. I am happy with my friends, but unhappy with the loud, obnoxious twats who need their diapers changed five times a day cos they can't take care of themselves. Some people...

In other news: this really sums up why I've never resorted to contact lenses.

Brief Thoughts On Playwriting While Writing Another Play

I always forget about Charles Mee. When I discovered him, and subsequently discovered his work (which is all online; he believes in sharing), he became my go-to person for how to construct a play with little regard for the 'limitations of theatre.' When I read him, and others like Sarah Kane (my first, true hero), Mark Ravenhill, and Sarah Ruhl, I can trick myself into thinking anything is possible onstage, given the right circumstances. Usually these circumstances must include an immensely talented and creative group of theatre artists with the right kind of budget (or at least the imagination to work around budgeting problems), but mostly these circumstances are dependent on a playwright's willingness to throw themselves out into the void without a net. That's really the first step. When I first began writing plays with a serious inkling of what I was doing, I told myself this: follow in the footsteps of those who believe the impossible is possible. Dreamers shouldn't be stifled, and since I'm prone to include myself in that category more than any others, why should I?

This Just Happened

Fred, my screenwriting professor, just rang to make sure I hadn't given him a huge script to read for conference today. He said he'd raced to the college this morning and ransacked his office looking for it. Maybe I dreamed this?, he offered, after I told him no such pages existed. I laughed and said I'd see him in about an hour.

This is why I love this college sometimes: professors actually do care about preparing for meetings, and being able to have solid discussions with students about their work. Feels good not to be a number. I've been saying that a lot lately.

Housing: Check

Officially moving to Brooklyn for the summer! More on this later.

Addendum

I wish I lived a glamourous life. Keep reading the blogs of past and present college peers, and I envy them, which I know is silly, but still. When I lived in Dublin, everything felt so spontaneous, to the point where I wasn't able to point to a calendar and say, 'This is what I'm doing on any given day.' I knew the extent of my class schedule, but that was it. Even my work schedule was compiled on a week-by-week basis, and that could change at any time. (Once, I told everyone I had to do something super important, even though I was just going to a football match. Someone covered my shift on the fly, and I felt slightly bad about it, but those were the kinds of rules I was living by!)

I'm hoping that once I graduate from college, I can live some sort of glamourous life. Things are on the horizon that might make it so, but I can't talk about them for fear of jinxing the situation. HOWEVER, this summer will probably bring new things, and for that, I'm excited.

You Are Something Good and So Am I

Keep trying to tell myself this, but it's all lies through teeth.

I blame myself for everything. It's just easier that way.

50 Days Til Graduation

You know what would be great? If I found somewhere to live for the summer, got into grad school, and sorted out the majority of my work stuff all in the same week.

It'd be killer, really.

Had an excellent conversation with my film professor Malcolm today. We talked about The Class, and he taught me a thing or two about France's educational system. We also talked about idiots who go to the cinema and yap, and it was nice to see his face fall when I told him of my recent film-going woes. Nice, because then we commiserated on the subject, and I remembered why, when it comes down to it, I think he's pretty ace.